Welcome to the family!
You have been so wanted for so very long and the surprise of expecting a little boy was more than either your dad or I was ready for. I know that he, like all other men, was always hoping for a boy but thought that we were destined to only have girls. He has been outnumbered in this house since the day we brought Coda home and now he finally has someone on his side. Hopefully, when you are older, you will be his ally!
I started this tradition of letter writing with Freya after she was born, and tried to keep it up with both of your sisters when Ilsa was born but I just couldn't do it. I am going to write a monthly letter to you for at least the first year of your life. I don't want to make the goal too lofty as our lives are pretty busy right now and I'd hate to overshoot my abilities, but I think 12 letters is something I can do. Especially for you, my only boy.
There is something strange that happens every time we bring a baby home - I start to feel as if we were never going through life without that extra person. Being a newborn, you sleep a lot, like 90% of the day, and as I watch you sleep, I have a hard time remembering my life without you in it.
Before you were born, I was sort of prepping myself for "life with a boy" as it was going to be so foreign compared to raising girls. So far, other than dealing with different parts in the diaper area, you are very similar to your sisters, thank goodness! And I don't mean that you are like a girl, but you are like every other newborn that has basic needs that are easy to meet. The biggest difference is having all the boy clothing - dogs, trucks, and footballs, in blues, browns, and grays. It's weird.
You are also very noisy. You make tons of noise all the time, whether you are asleep or awake. I'm not complaining one bit about any of it because I always know you are breathing whereas with your sisters I was constantly checking to see if they were moving and used the crib sensor pad until they were almost a year old! That's a total rookie mom move, one I don't need to use with you.
Did I mention how many diapers you go through daily? It seems a bit excessive, as if you are trying to set some kind of record. Granted, we got a ton of diapers as gifts, but you are literally blowing through them so fast that I have had to tap into the giant bin already. Plus the Diaper Genie is full and we have resorted to throwing the dirty diapers into the garage - your sisters find it fun to throw them at my car and sometimes I find them on the hood when I go out there.
Your Grandma gave me some pictures of Daddy when he was a baby and I was going to put them on here to compare to your pictures, but then I forgot them at her house. That was a month ago, so you can only imagine the other things I've forgotten in the mean time and have never gotten around to doing. I do have a really good excuse (you) for being mindless and as long as I don't lock you in the car or forget you when I leave the house we will probably make it.
I find myself narrating pretty much every part of the day to you. This was alien to me when Freya was born and I felt silly talking aloud to a tiny baby who didn't have a clue what I was saying. Now I talk to myself quite a bit because my memory isn't so great, so having someone to talk to makes me look slightly less crazy.
Along with the talking there is singing. Singing is reserved for extremely fussy moments because it helps you calm down, though I'm not sure if my singing is calming or you just settle down so I'll stop. Whatever helps you feel better, I'll keep doing it.
It's funny what songs a person can come up with on the fly - mostly songs I like that I just plug your name into or that fit the situation. I have had a really hard time not using your full name when talking to you. I don't know if it is because it flows so well or because I like the sound of it, but I did that so much in your first week that I found myself singing "Delta Dawn" but using Jensen John instead. Yes, I'm that old and have strange musical tastes. I'm sorry if it embarrasses you twelve years down the road, but that gives me a long time to sing whatever I want to you!
Some other favorites are:
The Angry Young Man (Fooling Yourself) by Styx. This is used when you are very red faced and screaming. I think the title says it all.
Let 'Em In by Wings. This is a popular song for when you won't give up a burp. In this case, I replace the word "someone" with "some burp". Example: "Some burp's knocking at the door, some burp is ringing the bell. Do me a favor, open the door, and let it out."
I Got The Feelin' by James Brown. I just like this one because half of the lyrics are the word "baby". Baby baby baby, baby baby baby, baby baby baby, baby baby. I got the feelin'...baby baby I got the feelin'. See?
This has been a big month for you - and for us. Our first time bringing a baby boy home and realizing he'd have to have his "man parts" surgically altered. You had this done exactly on your one-month birthday, not much of a present if you ask me. But you did wonderfully and everything has healed as it should...I think. Seriously, this boy thing is so unfamiliar, but we are all mucking our way through it!
Jensen, you are a miracle. You are just what our family needed and we are so lucky to have you. You are daddy's big guy, your sisters' buddy, and mama's boo boo bear. I promise the nicknames will get better in time, and if they don't, just know that they are all given to you with love.
Welcome home sweet baby.
Love,
Your Mama
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